Thursday, April 14, 2005

Save a human-BAD, save a dolphin-GOOD-PART#2

No sooner had the phophorous molecules cooled on my monitor after writing the GOOD/BAD post, then this story shows up, feeding tubes and everything:

"...In early March an estimated 80 rough-toothed dolphins stranded themselves in the shallows off Marathon in the Florida Keys...."

That sounds like a euphoric death. What's the problem? They weren't beached, they were sun-bathing. Shut up and pass the Pina Coladas.

"...The dolphins were placed in a water pen where they have been given round-the-clock care by hundreds of volunteers who signed up for four-hour shifts..."

Oh? whose court order? Why were these uneducated fools interfering with the Death Process?..Obviously, these are interventionist fanatics hell-bent on defying reality. 'Stop the madness'.

"...If we hadn't ... stepped in at all, and no one had stepped in, these guys all probably 100 percent would have died on those shores," ..."

I hope they get re-hab. Can't have Flipper forgetting how to jump through a hula-hoop. Were these dolphins insured?

"...Unable to eat on their own, they are fitted with a feeding tube to get them the needed nutrition..."


No doubt these parents of Gaea's children are maniacal freaks going to bizarre lengths to give these poor animals another chance at a life of abject misery- swimming, breathing and eating willy-nilly.

"...For Robert Lingenfelser, who heads the conservancy, this day's feeding preparations have not been moving fast enough.

"Have they been tubed yet?" Lingenfelser asks a volunteer.

"No, they haven't," the volunteer responds.

"Now! Now! These guys are two hours behind schedule," Lingenfelser tells them.

...The rehabilation will likely last weeks, not days. ..."

Not if I can get that Florida Courthouse to send in the cops, it won't. Those dolphins are in a Permanently Vegetative State. Anyone with a Philco black-and-white could see that with their eyes closed.

"..Banick understands the commitment she has made.."

I understand that Banick needs to be the insane asylum. These dolphins were engaging in constitutionally protected self-assisted suicide, and their wishes are being thwarted by the evil, Deity-Thumping Nazis of the radical right.

..Freakin' fundamentalist pro-lifers.....sheesh, let the dolphins die in peace. That's what they obvioulsy want.

Good thing Terri Schiavo wasn't a dolphin. Those kooks would have forced life on her, too.